words seem to fall short right now, but i will try.
we lost my Dad last week. it was unexpected but not shocking at the same time. he'd been battling illness for years, and though he wasn't sick at the time of his passing, we all knew he was exhausted. and so, in an empty house on a sunny Sunday afternoon, my sweet Daddy laid down and went to sleep. not in a hospital hooked up to tubes and machines, with all of us gathered around saying tearful goodbyes, but comfy and safe in his own bed. he left this world in utter tranquility, and was instantly freed of the chains that bound him here.
needless to say, however, the fallout has been devastating for my family. one thing is certain: there is no walking around death. it is only by walking through the pain that we reach the other side, and right now that pain is acute and deep for us all. when i heard the news, my instant prayer was for my Momma and siblings, that our Creator would give us some measure of comfort to fill the sudden gaping hole in our lives.
and my prayers have been answered in the form of angels on Earth. we have received an outpouring of Love so deep that i stand overwhelmed and humbled at the grace of others. in this time of incredible despair, i also find myself feeling immeasurable gratitude and joy.
my goal has been to be as fully present as possible, knowing the great challenges we all will face in the coming months. Grief and i have learned to live with each other over the past two years. i know her well. i've walked this path before, but this time i feel more equipped. this time i must take the lessons i've learned to help those around me navigate these dark waters. this time will be different. this time i will not fall.
while i am in such deep sadness, the highest part of me now understands and recognizes that there is always a bigger picture. i do not know what the higher plan is, and for the first time in my life i'm totally ok with releasing a need to know. why should my little human self ever attempt to control the uncontrollable? if i've learned anything over the past two years, it's this: God has a plan and His plan is good. always.
a heartfelt "thank you" to every single person who has held up my family in any form over the past two weeks. may you recognize our deep gratitude for helping us walk through this time. we could not do this without you. we Love you all.